YOUR NOT ALONE!
This is for those who unquestioningly trust
and have confidence in our system,
yet have come to know that the walls have become paper thin.
and have confidence in our system,
yet have come to know that the walls have become paper thin.
I am just one of many single persons who tried to be a model for "perfect submission and love." in all my relationships. Men, my 2 sons, friends, employers, religion, and with my supposed place in life. Because I realize men are also abused from this system, my perspective in no way is intended to undermine the many men in this world who are just as self sacrificing.
We have many demands or roles that are placed on our busy lives, therefore we prioritize and may not recognize what is all around us. Abuse! Our retired or more vulnerable people are sometimes being targeted by people selling their services door to door, who may take their victims for all their worth. This sure makes it hard for all the genuine people who truly want to make the world a better place. And of course know-one wants to think a child will be abused in Canada, but many children are. I have always thought of the emotional damage that happens as a child, and how abuse effects everyone as they grow.
Another abuse, is when we ignore what is going on around us when someone else might be in trouble or hurting. Yes every time we minimize, justify or rationalize the actions of someone else, while they are taking away the dignity and the rights of another we are just as accountable.
I want to talk about different values and belief systems because it seems no faith has immunity. There are abuses within our trusted family units, or communities. So innocence doesn't have much of a chance to know what is acceptable behaviors, or not when we trust our parent, our religious leaders, police, mental health and social workers, teachers, friends to keep us safe. People are slowly conditioned or tested so the abuse may start out feeling innocent, but grows into something no one may have expected would turn into abuse. Were taught right from wrong, and learn who were not suppose to trust and why.
We trust those closest to us.
Conditioning
Our upbringing conditioned us, but our free will gave us choice to explore unless free choice was taken away. I get concerned when a person says we always have a choice and it was our choice, because sometimes choices are taken away! We react with fight or flight reflexes, even shock when trauma strikes. We don't all react the same to shock which is why conditioning and training comes into play in positive or negative ways. In one of my past experiences I was being attacked in a very public place... I never asked for it or put myself in a position where I would ever be unsafe. Everything went into slow motion. I just remembered my self defense moves going into automatic so I was able to get away. I was taught not to learn self defense from my religious organization because this was considered an aggressive promotion of violence. But in school this class was offered and trainer only informed us of situations that were unsafe, ways to get away, defending ourselves . The repetition helped me because of all of that training took over. I am alive although I went against religious teachings, so I felt guilty and became more dedicated to doing good. I was shaken up because other woman were murdered, and many of our talks were about people who died faithful serving God. In time I learned balance, and that not every situation is text book letter of the law. Today I am free to be me, but it took other situations for me to see the truth and break from various abuses. Once a woman left papers on a table, I read a few things and there it was in black and white... I didn't realize I was being abused. There were many ways I learned, but most of all I learned who I could not trust. I fought hard to be a good person and broke no rules, I had people attack me with saying it was Karma... Imagine all the little girls believing they deserved to be punished and hurt because it was there fate .... everything was there fault? Our children need to know love, and they wont ever learn if they are so sheltered and conditioned they have no freedom of choice. People are exploited, people are hidden, some have television media as there guide, so mail delivery persons , neighbors, teachers, everyone of us can make a difference.
We trust the many systems that are put in place for societies protections, rights, freedoms, our voice! That are
doing what we voted or pay them to do.
BUT there is also abuse in the systems that could effect us indirectly all over. WHERE WAS EVERYBODY? ARE WE THAT NAIVE THAT THIS WONT HAPPEN TO US?
READ THE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT there is also abuse in the systems that could effect us indirectly all over. WHERE WAS EVERYBODY? ARE WE THAT NAIVE THAT THIS WONT HAPPEN TO US?
READ THE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Capt. Mike Parker said Martin B. Springer, 49, was arrested Friday. The announcement sent further shock waves through the campus already reeling from the arrest of teacher Mark Berndt who’s charged with committing lewd acts on 23 children.
The woman who runs the Broadway Neighborhood Center in Iowa City is
facing charges for not reporting an allegation of child abuse. Iowa City
Police Sergeant Denise Brotherton says it may be the first time in
state history that a person known as a mandatory reporter was arrested
for not reporting a possible crime.
“Protect the kids, that’s what it should be about,” Sergeant
Brotherton says. “The parents trust that we are all doing that. When
someone fails to do that, it just loses trust in the whole system.”
I sometimes compare some abuse to cancer because abuse may be undetectable until we notice something doesn't feel right and may be slow to start. Do we ignore the feeling and hope the minor irritation will go away? Do we try to research and ask questions? Sometimes people tell you what you need to here, sometimes you get told what you don't want to here. Sometimes the cancer is noticeable, sometimes the signs are slow or too late. Their are many causes to cancer, and I have been told even peoples negativity and our supports could mean everything to a persons diagnosis and recovery.
There are people who believe in mirroring the principals of love as defined in their own beliefs or higher source, that for some reason are blinded to the harm they are doing to themselves or others with their practices.What we perceive as love could be very different from what we are actually applying, therefore blinded by the truth that we are part of the harm to another ... like slow cancer.
Love comes in many forms, to hold a heart, is a precious gift.
People
just need to be loved and to love. How do we want to present
ourselves. We can look in the mirror and try on the style, color, as
long as we find the perfect fit. Then we need to ask ourselves if we
can afford to pay for it, and where we are going to go in life with
this compliment. Our relationships are no different. Some are work,
some are play, some are for every day. I don't like comparing people to
clothing though, because people are more valuable than accessories.
What is your definition of love compared to the needs and definitions of others? How does one SHOW it? How does one feel it?
The harm of cheating and head games from those we trusted most.
The attitudes vary, but I have no respect for people who do not here the cries of the victims, if it is because their too busy rapped up in their own happiness. There are too many people and things in life being ignored, while other people schedule a time to do public service. Yes I realize life is too short, so why ignore the quality of life for others? So how do we enlighten people if they don't want to see?
Our views. Some may compare surviving a cheating person or abuse to weight training, like were growing stronger. But are building walls really strength? Its all on our view or perspective/priorities. And we cannot push our views, make another persons walls all look the same. And why I felt open honest communication was important. I compare a relationship to a home. A good foundation or what ever you build will tumble. If your sharing the same home, its nice to fit the peaces together before moving in. And decide together what your going to put on your walls. With both sharing the same views even if they look out different windows, because the property around them is established.
I feel everyone's reactions to stress differ. I know when it seemed obvious to me that I was being used, or taken for granted I use to beat myself up for feeling sorry for myself at first but I just moved on. I beat myself for what I thought were my free choices, and blamed myself because I thought I was judging unfairly, after all that's what they told me I was doing...judging! I thought I was reacting to my own insecurities or personal issues. I was told by the ones who were lying to me that I needed psychiatric help, I was assuming, and that I had no real proof. Even when I had proof I didn't believe my own eyes.I was trying to believe and trust!
Communication.
I found when I did communicate my feelings, even in writing, it was turned around, or made it easier for them to adjust their game. I was fighting other peoples hidden agendas and egos, that slowly destroyed my trust, and sense of self. Worse was when I felt defenseless because most these people were close to me, and it is still hard being around them not knowing who to trust anymore. I blamed myself for a lot, even for not forgiving properly but they still continued their affairs in ways that seemed to taunt me. As they acted innocent and yet did things that made it obvious to even my friends that they were still involved. I stayed silent pretending it never hurt so they would just be real some day, but that complacency only led to more approaches and conditioning.
My only escape from many situations that were hurting me and my family in life would mean separating everyone or everything that I worked hard for. I was a fighter, anyone who does not appreciate me has no idea how hard it was to stay involved when a person is outnumbered. Or the struggles to battle on my own. Or how often I was laughed at, or put down... yet not once did I ever get to explain myself or try to hurt people back. Why have other people involved and divided who don't need the troubles. I never played the victim, but thankfully I had friends who listened. I decided to fight back and for me.... it felt good. Its about informing people, so there not caught up in the same mess.
Advice. I realize other peoples input sometimes only adds to confusion, and personal doubt. But really our choices were taken away from us, through control, through conditioning, through lies, already.
We trusted, believed, we invested in love, and I will never be treated invisible again. Especially when the ones treating me invisible openly show themselves to represent mental health, religion, a friend, and other people dependent on trusting them too. No matter who never saw me as I really was, no matter who never heard me... I know I was doing the right things, out of unselfish love for others. I always will!
1 Corinthians: If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
The attitudes vary, but I have no respect for people who do not here the cries of the victims, if it is because their too busy rapped up in their own happiness. There are too many people and things in life being ignored, while other people schedule a time to do public service. Yes I realize life is too short, so why ignore the quality of life for others? So how do we enlighten people if they don't want to see?
Our views. Some may compare surviving a cheating person or abuse to weight training, like were growing stronger. But are building walls really strength? Its all on our view or perspective/priorities. And we cannot push our views, make another persons walls all look the same. And why I felt open honest communication was important. I compare a relationship to a home. A good foundation or what ever you build will tumble. If your sharing the same home, its nice to fit the peaces together before moving in. And decide together what your going to put on your walls. With both sharing the same views even if they look out different windows, because the property around them is established.
I feel everyone's reactions to stress differ. I know when it seemed obvious to me that I was being used, or taken for granted I use to beat myself up for feeling sorry for myself at first but I just moved on. I beat myself for what I thought were my free choices, and blamed myself because I thought I was judging unfairly, after all that's what they told me I was doing...judging! I thought I was reacting to my own insecurities or personal issues. I was told by the ones who were lying to me that I needed psychiatric help, I was assuming, and that I had no real proof. Even when I had proof I didn't believe my own eyes.I was trying to believe and trust!
Communication.
I found when I did communicate my feelings, even in writing, it was turned around, or made it easier for them to adjust their game. I was fighting other peoples hidden agendas and egos, that slowly destroyed my trust, and sense of self. Worse was when I felt defenseless because most these people were close to me, and it is still hard being around them not knowing who to trust anymore. I blamed myself for a lot, even for not forgiving properly but they still continued their affairs in ways that seemed to taunt me. As they acted innocent and yet did things that made it obvious to even my friends that they were still involved. I stayed silent pretending it never hurt so they would just be real some day, but that complacency only led to more approaches and conditioning.
My only escape from many situations that were hurting me and my family in life would mean separating everyone or everything that I worked hard for. I was a fighter, anyone who does not appreciate me has no idea how hard it was to stay involved when a person is outnumbered. Or the struggles to battle on my own. Or how often I was laughed at, or put down... yet not once did I ever get to explain myself or try to hurt people back. Why have other people involved and divided who don't need the troubles. I never played the victim, but thankfully I had friends who listened. I decided to fight back and for me.... it felt good. Its about informing people, so there not caught up in the same mess.
Advice. I realize other peoples input sometimes only adds to confusion, and personal doubt. But really our choices were taken away from us, through control, through conditioning, through lies, already.
We trusted, believed, we invested in love, and I will never be treated invisible again. Especially when the ones treating me invisible openly show themselves to represent mental health, religion, a friend, and other people dependent on trusting them too. No matter who never saw me as I really was, no matter who never heard me... I know I was doing the right things, out of unselfish love for others. I always will!
1 Corinthians: If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
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