Post Trauma Stress, after ending relationships

Post Trauma Stress, and Relationships

Trauma, and Post Traumatic Stress... the view from my window.

Emotional Abuse and keeping the silence of your feelings... can cause an experience that will create trauma, a trauma is one that invokes fear combined with a loss of control.  Relationships can be insidiously emotionally and psychologically abusive.

With trauma, the brain is so overwhelmed; it cannot manage the pain of dealing with all the emotions at once, it’s too unbearable. The emotions such as hurt, fear, helpless, violated, shame and loss to name a few, that you are hiding  from.

If you have experienced some kind of violation. Your body may be on overload.

Sources of extreme or constant stress can have the same lasting effects on the parts of the brain (trauma) that are involved in memory and emotion.

The hippocampus plays an important role in connecting and organizing different aspects of a memory and is thought to be responsible for locating the memory of an event in its proper time, place and context.

Abnormalities of other brain areas, including medial prefrontal cortex, are also associated with PTSD.

The medial prefrontal cortex r egulates emotional and fear responses.

Symptoms of PTSD include intrusive memories, nightmares, flashbacks, increased vigilance, social impairment and problems with memory and concentration.

WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF TRAUMA?

Anger is your defense against intensely felt primary emotions,  a big one being fear of loss of control or fear of the event happening again. This fear turns into a generalized anxiety. Other intense primary emotions include a sense of violation, extreme sorrow, loss of trust, a loss of connection to others, disassociation and withdrawal, guilt and shame.

The anger gives us a temporary sense of empowerment and allows us to filter the primary emotions one by one as we can manage them. Unfortunately, what happens too often is we permanently repress the primary emotions.

Label the anger as normal, don't add insult to injury by telling yourself how you feel is wrong. Our self esteem needs to get better not worse. Learning to validate your own feelings while you are in trauma may be difficult, but it is a valuable life skill. Don't expect the validation to come from others either, because you will probably be in for disappointments there. Most people, unless they have been through something similar are sadly lacking in the ability to empathize or understand at all what you are going through.

Use the anger to motivate you towards positive change, but don't get stuck in it too long or it will eat you up alive. Trust me!!!!!!!!

Grieve the loss . With every traumatic experience there is a loss. This loss needs to be grieved just as we would grieve someone's death. The loss may be real or symbolic (also real). Real loss might be the loss of a friend or family member. Symbolic loss would include things like the loss of a sense of freedom to be ourselves, the loss of trust of others, the loss of a sense of control of your own world, the loss of love or companionship. Focusing on and processing your loss or losses is an important part of your healing.

The Long Winded Definition: An extreme traumatic stressor involving direct personal experience of an event that involves actual or threatened death or serious injury, or other threat to one's physical integrity; or witnessing an event that involves death, injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of another person; or learning about unexpected or violent death, serious harm, or threat of death or injury experienced by a family member", etc...

ANGER is often seen in negative terms, yet we all need to deal with anger in many areas in our life. Anger doesnt need to be an unhealthy emotion, but there for safety just like fear, which gives us boundaries to stay safe. A book I recommend called the 'dance of anger' really brought the whole subject to light, so that I felt balanced and healthy meaning towards the subject.
The Dance Of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships [Paperback] Harriet Lerner (Author)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

• Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
• Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
• Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
• Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
• Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)

PTSD symptoms of avoidance and emotional numbing

• Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
• Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
• Loss of interest in activities and life in general
• Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
• Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)

PTSD symptoms of increased arousal

• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Irritability or outbursts of anger
• Difficulty concentrating
• Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)
• Feeling jumpy and easily startled

Other common symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder

• Anger and irritability
• Guilt, shame, or self-blame
• Substance abuse
• Depression and hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts and feelings
• Feeling alienated and alone
• Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
• Headaches, stomach problems, chest pain

• Reliving the event through upsetting thoughts, nightmares or flashbacks, or having very strong mental and physical reactions if something reminds the person of the event.

• Avoiding activities, thoughts, feelings or conversations that remind the person of the event; feeling numb to one's surroundings; or being unable to remember details of the event.

• Having a loss of interest in important activities, feeling all alone, being unable to have normal emotions or feeling that there is nothing to look forward to in the future may also be experienced.

• Feeling that one can never relax and must be on guard all the time to protect oneself, trouble sleeping, feeling irritable, overreacting when startled, angry outbursts or trouble concentrating.

• Many people with PTSD repeatedly re-experience the ordeal in the form of flashback episodes, memories, nightmares, or frightening thoughts, especially when they are exposed to events or objects reminiscent of the trauma. Anniversaries of the event can also trigger symptoms. People with PTSD also experience emotional numbness and sleep disturbances, depression, anxiety, and irritability or outbursts of anger. Feelings of intense guilt are also common. Most people with PTSD try to avoid any reminders or thoughts of the ordeal. PTSD is diagnosed when symptoms last more than 1 month.
• Physical symptoms such as headaches, gastrointestinal distress, immune system problems, dizziness, chest pain, or discomfort in other parts of the body are common in people with PTSD. Often, these symptoms may be treated without the recognition that they stem from an anxiety disorder. 

 I found this site to be supportive and helpful

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ptsd-Support-and-Global-Awareness/213250682026627?sk=wall

I noticed that most sites use the same references and information, so I would like to acknowledge a couple sites for their input in my research. So that you may look information up and have further information.

http://godswarrior71.weebly.com/what-is-ptsd.htmlhttp://www.pandys.org/articles/invisibleepidemic.html

Peeling back the layers to be whole and get to the truth.
  Be true to yourself and others!
Integrity, dignity are everyone's right!
Keep an open mind and keep asking questions?